Amy Dickinson • Special to Postmedia Network Dating someone much younger has a reader worried about being judged by family and friends. Photo by File Photo /Getty Images
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Dear Amy: I’m 35. About three months ago, I matched with someone on a dating app. This person listed their age as 24.

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I brought up the fact of our age difference. My partner said it didn’t bother them. Although it was far, we decided to meet. I decided to take a trip and stayed for a few days. We spent the whole time together and had a great time. Our connection grew deeper and we continued to chat everyday for hours. We have the same sense of humor, philosophical and spiritual beliefs, political views, and ideas about what we want in a relationship and in life. During our conversations I never really noticed the age difference. Well, my partner recently revealed to me that they lied about their age. This person is not 24, but 20 years old. My race has accepted responsibility, apologized and accepted any possible consequences.

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I was able to forgive and can easily move on. My main concern now is the very real social stigma associated with a 15 year age gap, especially when that person is so young. My heart tells me to keep going. I really care about this person and my feelings are reciprocated. This is not a fling for any of us. But I worry about what my family and friends will think of me. your thoughts; – Anxious lover Dear Worried: I wouldn’t want to date a 20-year-old (even when I was 20), mostly because I was one once – and I’ve helped raise quite a few. Inflating your age by a full quarter of your total lifespan is exactly the kind of choice 20-somethings make, but I give this person credit for clearing this up. (You should ask to see a driver’s license.)

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It’s natural for anyone to want their friends and family to approve of a serious relationship, but at the end of the day only you two have to decide if this feels right to you. And if it feels right – really right – then you’ll continue to seek approval, but it won’t change your game if you don’t get it.

We apologize, but this video failed to load. Dear Amy: I had a 10-year marriage and two beautiful children with someone I couldn’t live with, but who has been my best friend ever since. Although it didn’t work out, my ex and I remained steadfast co-parents, confidants, and friends. He has been in a long term (10 plus years) relationship with a brilliant woman whom I have trusted heart and soul with my children for over 10 years. She and I are really close friends.

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Everyone in my life knows I have stage 3 blood cancer. Here’s my question: If I were to write my funeral plans today, at age 59, and I had my ex-husband’s permission, I would want him to give me my eulogy. He’s smart, witty, humble – and a great friend and father. I don’t expect anyone to oppose this request – they just won’t want to talk about it. I don’t know how to broach this subject. I don’t want to do it for my illness, although, of course, it really is. – Attempt to prepare Dear Tryer: Asking your ex and close friend to sing your eulogy sounds like a wise choice on your part. I suppose he would be honored to do so. Your question is about how to ask. I suggest putting it in an email or letter. That way when he receives it, he can think about your request without being pressured to react in a certain way.

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You should be as honest as possible. Including phrases like, “I don’t expect you’ll be called upon to do this anytime soon, but my illness makes me think about making plans. I don’t want to put you on the spot, but given our long history and friendship, I think our friends, family and children would be very comforted if you did the eulogy. It’s definitely my preference and I hope you’ll consider it.” Dear Amy: I’m done with your insistence on using “they/them” to state a singular pronoun. It’s so irritating, and you just go crazy trying to “wake up”. – Grammar Dear Grammar: “They/them” is used when a gender is not specified. I love a good parody as much as the next person, but in this case I’m following standard journalistic practice. Get used to it.

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