The reason? My achievements didn’t match my age: I didn’t have sex until I was 32 and I didn’t do a column until I was 42. For women, aging is considered shameful: we will be rejected, we will be unemployed. All we have to look forward to is menopause and a care home. I always wanted a little more time. Today? Guys I can’t be 64. I’ve been vegetarian since I was 11 and now I’m vegan. I have never smoked or taken drugs. I gave up alcohol 18 months ago. I am slim and exercise daily – weights and cardio. I am mentally active. I don’t look my age. I use expensive skin care and a private dentist who gave me veneers and a procedure that encouraged my receding gums to grow back. I’ve had an eyebrow transplant and use a serum to grow my eyelashes, as having sparse, poorly defined eyes is one of the first signs of aging. I met with Dr Alka Patel in Enfield, North London to discover biological age by doing a ground-breaking blood test called Glycan Age, which tells me how well my cells are doing. The data tells Dr. Patel that despite the fact that I exercise, am a vegan, am not overweight and never eat ready meals, sugar or salt, the ONE thing that is aging me – I risk brittle bones, dementia, high blood pressure and depression – it’s stress. Dr. Patel believes that aging poorly is not inevitable. That the diseases we take for granted – dementia, cancer – are often the result of our modern lifestyle. While some of what affects our biological age is genetic and fixed, there’s a sizable chunk—40 percent—that we have control over. As we speak, he takes a finger sample of blood and lets a few drops smear onto a card, which will be sent to a lab to find out the status of my glucans. I have never been seriously ill, bar a brief spell of vertigo. I feel like I’m 25 inside. And so, with zero trepidation I meet Dr Alka Patel in Enfield, North London, to find out not my chronological age – I only need a cake with candles for that – but my biological age. This is a whole different ball game. To find out that number, I’m going to do an innovative blood test called Glycan Age. It will tell me how well my cells are doing. Are there tiny warnings of trouble to come, perhaps years before I notice symptoms? Dr. Patel is a general practitioner with over 25 years of experience. Her patients come from all walks of life – high achievers, athletes, dancers – basically those who have a lot more they want to do and don’t want to be held back by time. And then there are those who are concerned about menopause, for example, or having had Covid, or simply wanting to achieve an active, healthy old age. Dr. Patel believes that aging poorly is not inevitable. That the diseases we take for granted – dementia, cancer – are often the result of our modern lifestyle. While some of what affects our biological age is genetic and fixed, there’s quite a bit—40 percent—that we have control over. But before he can advise me, we need to know exactly what my biological age is. Can he guess by looking at me? My hair is dyed every fortnight and I have had a face lift as well as blepharoplasty to remove excess skin and fat from my eyelids. She laughs. ‘No. It’s not always about wrinkles. My husband doesn’t have a six-pack but his biological age is very young.’ As we speak, he takes a finger sample of blood and lets a few drops smear onto a card, which will be sent to a lab to find out the status of my glucans. What the hell are they? Glycans are sugar molecules and a key building block of many types of cells, including cells of the immune system. As we age, the composition of these immune system glycans changes, and so by analyzing them, it is possible to tell how “old” the body actually is. How quickly these changes occur depends, in part, on how active the immune system is. Part of the immune response is the release of inflammatory compounds into the circulation. With infections, such as a cold or flu, inflammation creates a hostile environment that helps eliminate invaders. But experts believe that poor lifestyle choices – such as smoking, excessive diets and fitness programs, or obesity – trigger a weaker immune response and low-level inflammation. Likewise, hormonal changes, poor sleep and relentless stress. And over time this inflammation causes damage that leads to many of the diseases we associate with aging. The data tells Dr. Patel that despite the fact that I exercise, am a vegan, am not overweight and never eat ready meals, sugar or salt, the ONE thing that is aging me – I risk brittle bones, dementia, high blood pressure and depression – it’s stress But all was not lost. By making better lifestyle choices you will end up with less inflammation and ultimately “younger” glycans. “The amazing thing about measuring your glycans is that you can see changes happening before you get sick,” says Dr. Patel. “Your glycan age is a strong predictor of what’s to come. It reveals your current health, but also provides a way to chart your progress as you implement changes. “Testing and tracking takes the guesswork out. It’s a number – and it’s a powerful number.” Another important number, I’m told, is my LQ, or my Lifestyle Quotient, similar to your IQ but showing how smart you are about the way you live. To determine this, I take an extensive questionnaire, rating from one to ten how strongly I agree with various statements such as: “I feel a deep sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, knowing that I am contributing to the world in my own unique way.” I’ve scored a ten here as I’m completely focused on work, changing animal laws, entertaining my readers and campaigning on issues I feel strongly about such as body image and mental health. “I have a regular bedtime routine that sets me up for a good night’s sleep.” I high five it as I shower and change into something casual, but I’m addicted to Netflix. Then: “I strengthen my intimate relationships by being open and sharing my true feelings and desires.” I scored two. I tend to tiptoe around other people, putting myself last. I put my animals first before myself. With all this information, Dr Patel sets out to change things – to make us biologically younger, Benjamin Button-style – with a personalized program and some technical wizardry. With the right lifestyle, Dr Patel believes we can all live to be 116. But do we want a lot more seniors, I ask. What about freeing up homes, jobs, hospital beds? There is not enough money for more care homes or bigger pensions. “When you think of an old person, the image is weakness,” he replies. “But it’s not inevitable. Look at the Queen, still working at 96. Here health span meets life span. “Aging is about how you move, sleep, rest, what you value, how you show up in the world.” Blood test and consultation is £275, with results in two weeks. The sheer number may be enough to motivate you to change. If not, Dr Patel’s holistic package costs up to £5,000 Her Majesty ate well, had a loving husband (human contact is vital), was physically active and had a purpose (the pointless withering on the vine). She was also rich: lack of access to good nutrition, health care, and all the other disadvantages of being poor are huge factors in aging poorly, which in the end comes at a high cost. Take my mum, whose last decade of life, bedridden with arthritis and dementia, cost me over £30,000 and untold suffering: a martyr, with seven children, never looked after her welfare. Finding out your biological age, by comparison, is cheap. Blood test and consultation is £275, with results in two weeks. The sheer number may be enough to motivate you to change. If not, Dr Patel’s holistic package costs up to £5,000. For this, you get a circular fitness ring – it’s like a fitness tracker, but one that measures sleep patterns, breathing and heart rate. There’s also a home test kit to measure levels of the hormone cortisol, which is released by the body in response to stress, and a patch to monitor blood sugar levels. Dr. Patel also provides one-on-one counseling, offering advice on lifestyle modifications that may help. It is, I discover, something of an advertisement for her method. A decade ago, while still an NHS doctor and juggling mother-of-three, she suffered a complete physical and emotional breakdown. He says: “I woke up with a fever of 40 degrees, but still went to work. I was so exhausted and my kidneys and liver shut down. “I ended up in the hospital. I felt I had reached the end.’ Dr. Patel succeeded, but she had to change. She quit her job and traveled to Kerala, India, where she worked in palliative care – providing treatment to the dying. The experience was transformative. She came home changing not only the way she cares for patients – focusing on preventing illness instead of dealing with disasters when they strike – but also herself. Dr. Patel now works from home, seeing only private patients. It has a fully equipped gym, climbing ropes in the garden and a refrigerated lunch box. She looks bright, but has she reversed the damage from the high-octane life that nearly killed her? She shows me her own certificate for the glycan age test. While her chronological age is 50, her biological age is 20. Wow. Sign me up on the dotted line. And so, two weeks later, I’m on a Zoom call with Dr Patel, and I’m thinking that age is nothing but a number. I did everything the wellness industry told me to do. I might be 12! It has my results. I feel like an X Factor finalist. ‘And…
